Four Pounds, Two Ounces
by OhMyGodWhyDidIWriteThis
Summary: If you were Superman, how would it feel to be helpless to protect the ones you love?


**Four Pounds, Two Ounces**

He wasn't even home when he first got the news. At age thirteen, Goten Son spent most of his time – when he wasn't home studying to appease his mother – at the Briefs' household with his best friend, Trunks. Chi-Chi bemoaned his poor grades, gripped about how _Gohan_ had been a more studious boy when he was younger, but secretly she was thrilled with her youngest child. Gohan had grown up with rough edges and poor manners hidden beneath a polite and painfully shy exterior, habits picked up from battles and fights and wars with alien threats that had nearly destroyed the earth and the world time and time again.

He had grown up with a best friend and a nearly-whole family, a support structure that understood and encouraged him to flourish.

He was thirteen and he felt he was _invincible_, superman posing as Clark Kent to fool the masses. No one at school knew his secret and it made him separate, alone, but it didn't matter because they didn't matter, not yet. In a few years the loneliness might get to him, might crush him, but for now he was young and carefree and what the world whispered about him didn't matter.

But he wasn't even home when he got the news.

"Mmph- Oh, Trunks, Goten!" The two were racing down the steps, out the door, and Bulma called after them, one hand stretched out toward them, the other pressed to the mouthpiece of a cordless phone. Goten turned about to bounce back a step or two while Trunks flatly ignored her. "Chi-Chi has some news." His eyes widened and now Trunks glanced back at him, a silently _oh shit_ going between the two. "It's good news!" _You're a liar!_

Edging back into the room ( and sending Trunks a death glare that read _If you bail on me now I will hunt you __**down**__ so help me _) Goten smiled wanly, looking up at the ocean-haired inventor. "Really? What does she want?... to tell us?"

"Here," she said, smiling vibrantly as she passed the phone off. With more than a bit of trepidation he took it, mouth thinning into a grimace as he hesitantly held it up to his ear. Curiosity winning over his sense of preservation, Trunks inched closer, cocking his head to hear as well.

"Mom?" An ear splitting squeal greeted him and both half-saiyans jerked their heads back, phone pulled back as far as possible from their ears as they winced and hissed. "Mom!" Goten scolded as Bulma giggled, one hand pressed to her lips as her mouth quirked with amusement. "Calm down!"

"I'm sorry, I'm just so excited," she blurted out, voice still high-pitched and distorted through the phone line. He nervously brought the phone back, muscles twitching for the first sign that she was going to go supersonic again. "Goten, you'll _never_ guess! Oh, I got the best news from Gohan today!" At the sound of his brother's voice Goten had to bite back a groan; _everything_ was always about him. "It's Videl! She's _pregnant!_"

* * *

He was coming home from school and a month had passed, a month of homework and book reports and a science fair project with his father that they both had forgotten and in the end they had simply asked Bulma to help build a baking-soda-and-vinegar volcano. His backpack dropped unceremoniously to the floor, an obstacle in the middle of the kitchen, and Goten yanked open the refrigerator before noticing that both his mother and father were sitting at the kitchen table, a quiet murmur passing between the two.

"Who died?" he asked, and Chi-Chi winced and he paled. Goku looked nervous and suddenly he wondered if he joked was in poor taste though he hadn't _known_.

"No one… sweetie, sit down," she sat, pulling out the chair next to her. Afternoon snack forgotten, Goten walked over and took the offered seat, noticing they his parents were holding hands.

"What… what's wrong?"

"Goten, it's Videl." She smiled, lifting one hand off of Goku's to place on one of his, and he felt a jolt run through his stomach. _Videl_. "She okay, the baby is okay, but she's just not… it's turning out to be a little rough for her."

"… what do you mean, a little rough for her?"

"Well, she's in the hospital right now." Goten's body tightened, breath caught as his hand snapped into a fist under his mother's, the other digging tracks into the well-beaten table top. Goku smiled understandingly and continued slowly. "We're not really sure what's wrong with her… Saiyan births are hard but this…"

He couldn't remember anyone talking about his mother having this hard of a time with either Gohan or himself, and _Bulma, _the woman who didn't even know how to make a _fist_, went through Bulla's pregnancy easy-breezy, no questions asked. Videl was a _fighter_, her child wasn't even _half-saiyan_, this wasn't at all right.

"We'll find out more in the morning," Chi-Chi said and he nodded slowly. "You don't need to worry. It's probably just a case of an overprotective husband. You know how Gohan gets."

* * *

Two months and the calls were becoming regular; the gut-wrenching feeling of panic became something that was his constant companion. In and out, in and out, in and out. Goten almost stopped caring, almost wanted to stop caring – it would have been easier to just accept that this obviously wasn't working, that they were fighting for something that wasn't going to happen, then to hurt every time he heard Videl was hurting too.

His mother was on the phone and he sighed, appetite disappearing as he stepped inside from school. She had aged poorly over the past few months, grey streaks marring hair that was once pure black and lines etched permanently under her eyes, but for once she was smiling while talking. Waving for him to continue on, Goten glanced curiously, the sickening feeling of worry slowly relaxing as he allowed himself to think that maybe, just maybe, this time it wasn't bad news.

A click and she smiled, looking up at him as he waited patiently at the table, history book opened in front of him. "They think she's over the worst of it," she announced and Goten suddenly sagged, the feeling of palpable _relief_ so great. "The first trimester was the problem, her blood-pressure was causing her to get sick, but it should be leveling out now. In fact, Gohan and Videl want to come visit this weekend."

It had felt so long since he had seen his brother, seen that part of his family, and Goten nodded eagerly. Everything was _done_ now; all the worry could go away. "That's great Mom. I can't wait to see them."

* * *

"Oof, Gohan, _gentle…_"

They had driven by car, a six-hour drive from their home all the way to Mount Pazou, but in Videl's condition flying was completely out of the question. Goten stood in the doorway, anxious to see but terrified to interfere, bouncing from foot to foot as his mother stood by, holding the door open while his brother helped his wife out. Goku was unloading the car, arms stacked high with suitcases and bags filled with clothing and emergency supplies.

The nervousness twinged again. Maybe they weren't as far out of the water as he had thought.

Videl stood up, bracing back against Gohan, and Goten stared at just how _big_ she had gotten. Her stomach bulged out, a sizeable lump where her hands rested comfortably. It didn't surprise him that Gohan was handling her with kid gloves, and even Chi-Chi made a noise of surprise when she saw her, one hand gently touching the bump. "Videl! Oh, have you felt her kicking yet?"

_Her_? Goten didn't know that they knew the sex, that it was a niece, and he suddenly felt very disconnected as he shyly walked over to the rest of the family. Gohan gave him a wide grin, pulling him into a half-hug up against his side, and ruffled his hair with his free hand. "Hey squirt," he said, and Goten smiled slightly. "How's everything been?"

"Pretty good," he said softly, watching as his dad paced by them, bags bouncing with every step. "Busy with school and training."

"Ah. I've heard that you and Trunks are two terrors when it comes to that." There was a mischievous edge to his smile and Goten had the decency to blush as Chi-Chi cleared her throat before glaring sternly at him. "Make sure you don't get behind on your studies kid-o."

He nodded, feeling a little less on the outside.

* * *

The view by the lake was beautiful as the sun dipped down toward twilight. All three Son children – Videl had taken on Gohan's name when she had married him – sat in silence, enjoying the nature surrounding them as they watched the beams of light play across the surface of the water. A moment passed and Videl sighed, turning in Gohan's arms.

"I wish she would grow up being able to see this," she said, and he moved his hands to cover hers, resting them over her stomach. "It's so peaceful out here. I know she would love it. She's going to be just like you Gohan."

"Mmm, she's going to be as wonderful as _you_," he murmured back, and Goten suddenly felt the urge to gag at the sickeningly sweet display.

"It's getting late," he said loudly while standing, causing them both to giggle as they nuzzled and he grimaced. "Mom's going to have a fit if we're late for dinner _again_. We should head back now."

"The squirt's right. Come on." Getting to his feet, Gohan held his hand out and help Videl stand, bracing her for a moment while she regained her balance. For a moment she swayed unsteadily and he looked on with worry, but she only gave him a patient smile before starting to walk back. Gohan slipped an arm around her and she leaned against him, eyes closing slightly.

"So what are you going to name her?" Unencumbered, Goten jumped ahead and walked backwards, bouncing with every step. Videl cracked her eyes open and glanced up at Gohan, who blinked and frowned. "You guys have thought about that, right?"

"We have. We're just not really sure," she said. "Gohan's told me about the naming tradition of saiyan's, and my family as their own… we want to honor both but we're not sure how. She's probably going to end up with something hyphenated."

"Hyphenated?"

"Two names Goten," Gohan said. "Like Leh-Kani. Leh-Kani Son."

Goten wrinkled his nose at the sound of that name. It didn't sound at _all_ right to him, but he wasn't the soon-to-be parent either. "Oh. Well. She's _your_ kid," he said after a moment.

Videl opened her mouth and he waited for some scathing remark, but her face slowly went slack as her feet began to drag. Gohan slowed, shifting to hold up more of her weight, and looked at her with concern. "Honey? Hun, is something… Videl, you're turning pale."

"I… M' fine, just… feel a little…." Her sentence came out slurred and was cut off when she slumped over, sudden dead weight held in Gohan's arm. He caught her easily and crouched down, holding her against his body.

"Goten, go!" he shouted, waving for him to leave. He stared, eyes wide with panic as she laid there, face drained of blood and chest heaving for air. "Go and get mom, get help. _Go, now!"_

_

* * *

_The waiting room stunk of old people and cleanser and he shifted uncomfortably, Trunks sitting next to him in silence. His mom had called the Briefs as Goku had helped Gohan rush Videl to the hospital; because of the special nature of their child it was unknown what was going to show up in the ultrasounds and blood tests of the child and having an official representative of Capsule Corp there while they were at an unfamiliar hospital would make things go smoother. It was a lot to ask on such a short notice, but the mother of two had dropped everything to rush over, dragging her husband and children along.

Trunks was happy to see his friend. Vegeta was less pleased to be stuck babysitting his year-old daughter.

"Hey, she'll be fine." It came out in a whisper and Goten glanced over at him, trying to return the smile that Trunks was giving him. Videl was strong, she was a _fighter_, of course she'd be okay, but Trunks hadn't seen her lying there, so pale and fragile in Gohan's arms. Maybe she would be fine but there was something wrong, something that was affecting her and her child. "And you know that the baby has to be tough too with her genes. Everything's going to be okay."

Bulla gurgled and giggled happily from her perch in Vegeta's arms and the saiyan glared at the both of them as he bounced her once. She clapped and Goten felt sick, wondering if he was ever going to get to hold his own niece. Leh-Kani. The name was _still_ wrong but she still _existed_, only everything was fighting against her.

The door opened into the room and all three ( four if you counted the baby ) occupants glanced up. A tired Bulma smiled at all of them and Goten breathed out in relief. "She's okay, the baby's okay. It was her blood sugar. The doctor's say she just hadn't been eating enough and with her already touchy blood pressure it caused her to black out. They want her to stay here a week so they can monitor her, but there's nothing wrong and then they're going to send her home."

He was coming home again and the familiar cramps of anxiety were starting even before his hand touched the door. His mother was on the phone again, her face a mask of worry, and all he could think was _damnit not again_ before cursing at himself and starting up to his room.

His father was gone. He had been spending a lot of time training alone lately, away from the stress that was building inside the house. Goten wished he could leave too, wished that he could go back to spending all his time with Trunks again, but guilt was keeping him tied to home.

The backpack dropped to the floor and he sat heavily on the bed, staring down bleakly. Hollowly. No one could figure out what was wrong with Videl, what was wrong with the baby, and why she was having such a difficult time with the pregnancy. Even Vegeta had to admit that it was unusual, that though saiyans were a 'superior' breed the female had ease carrying the child. The problems she was experiencing hadn't been felt by Bulma or his mother and it was tearing everyone one apart, tearing _Gohan_ apart, watching her suffer.

"Goten?" He cringed. She wasn't shouting for him, wasn't demanding – just calling, cautiously, the unasked query of 'do you want to know what happened now?' No. No he did _not_, but mechanically he got up and walked to the door, opening and starting down the stairs. She stood at the bottom, phone still held tightly in her hands. "Goten, she's back in the hospital."

"… what happened?"

"She caught a cold and stopped eating because of feeling sick. Because of her sugar levels that made her illness worse. She couldn't eat or keep anything down and they had to take her in so they could give her food through a tube."

"… is she okay?" He wondered if he really needed to be here for the conversation; a tape recording of his responses would suffice at this point.

Chi-Chi nodded. "Right now the baby's getting all the nutrients but once they're sure the baby's fine they'll start feeding her as well. They're both going to be fine Goten."

* * *

Another month and a half.

"She's showing signs of preeclampsia."

"What does that mean?"

"… it just means that they need to monitor her and her baby. That's all."

He looked it up later that night and stared blankly at the computer screen, blue light highlighting his pale face. _Potentially fatal for both mother and child unless they aborted the baby._

But they just needed to monitor her and her child.

* * *

Goten was being shaken awake, rough hands jolting him out of an uneasy sleep while the covers were ripped from his body. He shivered and moaned before blinking his eyes open; his father stood there, panic etched around his entire body, highlighting every feature. "Goten, get up and get dressed _now_."

"Wha…? What's going on?" It was far too early for school but he stumbled out of bed anyways, heading to his closet to find a clean shirt to yank on. Without explaining his father left, leaving him in a state of confusing while his dressed, sleep still clouding his eyes. It didn't matter; a clean green-and-yellow shirt, blue jeans, and after brushing his teeth he was ready to go, though he was still bemused.

"We're going to be late, we're going to miss it, hurry up you two!" This was shouted by his mother as he trotted down the stairs and Goten stopped to rub his eyes. She was in a frenzy, dressed and frantic and grabbing clothing and bags and the life that had slowly been draining from her from all the months of worry had suddenly been pumped back and he didn't know why or from where. Something shoved him from behind and he jumped off the last step to let his father by, equally possessed by the same strange bug. "Goten! Are you ready, are you packed?"

"Packed? For what?"

"Never mind, I have some clothing for you, it'll be fine. Grab onto your father." The bags were zipped shut and shoved into Goku's hands ( who was wearing an actual pair of jeans and a long-sleeved black t-shirt, Goten didn't think he had ever seen him wear normal clothing and it was _weird_ ) and Chi-Chi wrapped her arms his left, holding on tightly. Goten stumbled over and reached up, placing a hand on his other arm.

He had never traveled via Instant Transmission before. Goten never wanted to travel via Instant Transmission again.

When the world jerked back in place again a smooth linoleum floor was under his feet and he felt like he was going to throw up only his stomach hadn't quite made it back as fast as the rest of his body. He felt dizzy and disoriented and his father laughed and patted him on the back, a good hard _smack_ that only made the feeling _worse_.

"Oh thank Kami you're here." Twisting around, Goten saw Gohan and he _stared_. His brother, his hero, was worn and ragged and falling to pieces. He hadn't slept in days, not well in weeks, and whatever weight Videl had gained Goten was sure his brother had lost; his clothing hung loosely on his frame now, hips and elbows and shoulders sharp angles on his thin frame. "The doctors are preparing her, they're getting her ready, Mom, they're going to cut _into_ her…"

Wait. _Wait._ "Is Videl giving _birth_ today?" No one paid any attention to him as his mother slipped her arms around Gohan's shoulders, her brother leaning down into the hug, and his father rubbed him awkwardly on the back. Goten bit his lower lip, wishing he could help and knowing he couldn't.

"Sweetie, you need to be strong just a little longer," his mother said and Gohan nodded slowly. "Videl's going to need you to be there with her during this and your baby's going to need you to be there for her too. Can you do that?"

"… I can. I can do this."

* * *

"I can't do this."

Goten was sitting outside, alone and safe from all the panicking and flustered adults, and he jerked with surprised when a sickly Gohan stepped out and dropped down next to him. He was shaking, hands trembling as he pressed them up to his mouth, and the color of his face was a waxy ashen gray.

"I can't."

"… I don't… what can't you do?"

"This. Everything. Being a father." Goten nodded slowly and wished that someone else was out here right now; this wasn't a conversation that Gohan wanted to have with him. "She's so tiny. Four pounds. Four pounds, two ounces… is it my fault she's so tiny?"

"… what?" Goten blinked and looked over at him, now confused. His brother's train of thought seemed to be lacking in any logic and he felt a bit of mental whiplash occurring trying to follow. "Why would you be the cause of… if anything, you would have caused Videl to give birth to a large baby. Sometimes people just… are bad at having babies."

"Not this bad this. Not like this. And there was no reason for it. With Mom and when she had you and Bulma with Trunks and Bulla… but I'm different. I'm… I know I have the strength beyond… am I a freak even for a saiyan? Did my blood this to her?" Gohan looked over at him, and Goten just stared back. "Is this all my fault?"

"Gohan… no. No, it's not." The words felt inadequate but he didn't know what else to say. Reaching out awkwardly, he placed a hand on his brother's arm, patting it for a moment, and then he _broke down_, shoulders hunched and face buried and Goten didn't know what to do, he sat and stared and shifted closer, one arm slipping around his brother's shoulders. "You're not, you didn't do this. I know you didn't do this. I mean, you love her so much, and I know you love your daughter so much, you would never do anything to hurt them so how could you even think that you could be the reason behind something like this?"

He was babbling, dear Kami was he babbling, but to sit there silently would be even worse.

Gohan shuddered and breathed deep, relaxing slowly against Goten. Now the younger of the two fell silent, uncomfortably aware that he was sitting and holding his older brother. He loved him, yes, and he cared for him… it was just strange and new and not exactly the situation he wanted to be in to start a new family bonding experience.

"You should go see her." Gohan broke the silence and pulled away, wiping the drying tears from his cheeks. Goten blinked and grimaced and Gohan grinned, the expression rather watery after his momentary lapse in composure. "I think you should."

"You want me to go see your 'amazingly tiny' daughter? I'll do something stupid, Gohan. I'll touch her and she'll break."

"… no. I think she's stronger than that. And I don't think you'd do that." He had an odd expression, a strangely contemplative look, and then the smile returned. "Besides, if you don't go, you won't get to find out what we named her."

"So it wasn't Leh-Kani?"

"Oh thank Kami no." Goten smiled and stood up. "I think I'm going to stay out here for a little longer; Videl's still asleep and I need… I need some time alone. The nurses should let you in, though."

"You mean I don't need an escort?" Gohan shook his head.

"We could put four people down on the list. Mom, Dad, Hercule… and you."

* * *

The NICU looked nothing like the baby rooms on TV. Each little, well, 'unit' was at least ten feet away, on all sides, from the others, with barely twenty babies in the room. Nurses milled around, two watching and monitoring the various devices hooked to each baby, and the smell of rubbing alcohol filled the air.

That really wasn't what mattered, though. What mattered was lying half-asleep in front of him, hooked up to heart monitors and an oxygen mask and several other contraptions that Goten couldn't even begin to identify. About the size of his hand, the tiny girl stretched out and cried, a noise that barely carried from the plastic dome she was in.

_Pan Son_. He approved of the name.

"You can touch her, if you'd like." A nurse sat by him and gestured toward the two clipped shut flaps. Goten swallowed hard before fumbling with one. Gohan trusted him, said that it would be okay, but he knew that things had a tendency to break around him. And this… this was something that couldn't be replaced if it was broken.

She was pink, bright pink, with black fuzz covering the top of her head. "Heh… Hey, Pan," he said, and ever so _gently_ reached out to touch her hand. Her fingers spread and he smiled, his own resting gently in her palm. And she closed them.

Four pounds. Two ounces. And she was holding on so tightly. "Hey Pan," he whispered, feeling something tighten in his throat and something prick at his eyes. "My name is Goten, okay? I'm your uncle, and I'm going to be the best uncle there is, all right? I promise you that."

_Four pounds_. "Your daddy, he's really strong, so he's going to be a little scared at first, okay? Because he doesn't want to hurt you. But he loves you and he's going to be the best dad you could ever want to have. I know, because for a while not too long ago he was my dad."

_Two ounces._ "And your mom's going to be okay too. I know it seems like she's in bad shape right now but it's just cause you gave us a bit of a scare. But everything's okay now."

And she squeezed, just for a moment, before her grip slackened and Goten could take his finger away, stroking her arm gently. "You're going to grow up to be something great Pan. I promise you, I'll make sure of it."


End file.
